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I want alchemy from this ocean

not these metaphors of endlessness


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between one June and another September (Twilight, Mary/Leah, metafic)
bugger this
be_themoon
Title: between one June and another September
Fandom: Twilight
Characters/Pairings: Mary Blake (Renesmee Cullen)/Leah Clearwater
Rating: PG
Warnings: a little bit of language. nothing big.
When: Third of the Mary Blake 'verse. Set after the one unchanging thing is I. Post-BD, naturally.
Summary: In the beginning, she comes home.
Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. Meyer can keep it.
Author's Note: It's finally finally done! You know, only about two months after I started it. :P Anyways. This fic is Mary/Leah, but I left a lot of it rather subtextual, so yes, you probably aren't reading too much into it. The title and all of the poetry excerpts are from marina by T. S. Eliot, except for the last one, which is from Civilization by Carl Phillips. You don't even want to know how close I came to including this entire scene that was basically just them reading poetry. A lot of it. Symbolic poetry! Poetry I love! I had somewhere around fifteen tabs of poems open before I shook myself and went 'no Betsy no! write the story! geek about poetry on your own time!' Random piece of trivia: elocation (or, exit us) by Evie Shockley came thisclose to getting included, because it is just such a Mary poem. Anyways, yeah. Story time! (Can you tell I'm really nervous about this one?)

In the beginning, she comes home.

*

“My cousin’s daughter,” Charlie tells people who ask, and when they ask how old she is, “15.”

Mary tries not to show her joy at being able to give her real age. It is the first and last time, and she knows it will not last for long.

*

“You grew up!” Seth Clearwater says, his sister behind him, glowering at nothing in particular.

“A bit fast for my liking, but yes,” Mary says. Leah’s eyes soften around the edges.

*

Leah keeps her distance.

Mary can’t blame her.

*

“Thanks for the ride!”

“No problem, have a great first day!” Charlie says through the window, and Mary smiles and turns to face the school.

She can do this.

She can be normal.

*

According to her human anatomy book, the average human blinks once every 2-10 seconds.

Mary already knew that.

*

Leah comes over with her mother, eats fish fry with them and stares at nothing, moves swift and heavy and silent with her hair cropped short and spiky like Mary’s own. Charlie asks about Seth’s departure for college and Mrs. Clearwater says he got there safely as Leah stabs at her food.

Mary thinks about ying and yang and the imbalance of power and how pale her arms look when compared to Leah's dark tan.

“I wish I could come to La Push,” she says wistfully, and Leah’s guarded eyes flick over to her for just a split second.

“Of course you can,” she says, looking unperturbed by her mother’s sharp sound of disapproval. Mary smiles as wide as she can without showing her teeth.

*

She has only been on the beach five minutes when Leah lopes up, something of the wolf in every move she makes.

“I like the ocean,” Mary says by way of explanation, and Leah nods sharp and sits down a bit away, looking out to the beach.

“I like the sunset,” Leah says unexpectedly, and her voice is cautiously friendly.

They sit in silence.

*

“It’s not that I don’t like you so much as you smell like bloodsucker,” Leah says bluntly, and Mary laughs.

“You smell like werewolf,” she says lightly, feeling unexpectedly relieved. “Maybe one day I’ll get used to it.”

*

“So if you want to stay in one place for more than a few years, you have to go to highschool again?” Leah says, and Mary nods morosely. Leah considers this seriously for a long moment and then leans back, stretching across the couch. “Christ, that blows.”

“Language, Leah,” her mother chides from the kitchen where she and Charlie are cleaning up.

“Well it does,” Mary mutters under her breath, and Leah laughs out loud.

Her smile lights up the room, and Mary shivers.

*

Apotheosis is the exalting or raising of a human to the rank of a god, Mary tells Leah the third afternoon on the beach, and Leah shifts and nods.

Mary leaves things unspoken because she does not know how to say them, but Leah knows what she meant.

*

“How do you like the kids so far?” Charlie asks her at dinner.

“They’re really nice,” Mary says. “I sit with a group every day, and today a boy invited me to the movies.  I said no, but still.” She smiles. “I like them,” she says again, “they’re nice,” and she thinks once my mother sat here and talked about her day, only she knows her mother and can’t imagine her loving the normality like Mary does. It is like twisted déjà vu.

*

Everyone carries within them the seeds of their own destruction.
 
*

“Bella jumped off these cliffs once and nearly drowned,” Leah says.

“I’d say it’s probably a lot more fun when you’re practically indestructible,” Mary muses, and Leah grins, wide and all teeth.

“Oh, it is,” she says. Mary takes two steps forward to the edge.

“No power in the ‘verse can stop me,” she quotes to Leah with a sudden smile, and the air rushes past her face as she falls, light and effortless.

*

But that is not what is important. What is important is that they also carry within themselves the ability to be reborn and to create new life.

*

She cuts cleanly through the water and comes up to laugh in joy.

Leah’s fingers brush against hers in the water.

*

“Isn’t it hard?” Leah asks unexpectedly as they tread water. “Being part of two worlds at the same time?”

She had almost forgotten her heritage, here in the mist and the rain and the sand and surf, here with Charlie and Sue and Leah and boys who ask her to movies and all the trappings of an almost-normal life.

“Yes, it is,” she says softly.

“Show me,” Leah says, and takes Mary’s hand firmly. Her eyes are steady and dark, and for the first time in ten years Mary shows another person her thoughts.

*

Mary does not know what Leah thinks she is proving, or who she thinks she is proving it to, and at some level she doesn’t even care.

*

She and Charlie go to La Push one night in the dark and they sit around the fires and listen to the stories. By the time the dinner and dancing has done, she has fallen asleep on Charlie’s shoulder. She wakes up long enough to drag herself up to bed when they get home, and is asleep again by the time Charlie comes up to say good night.

She dreams of – she does not remember what she dreams of.

*

She reads T. S. Eliot aloud to Leah in her bedroom while Charlie and Sue watch TV downstairs, and ends up with her head in Leah’s lap and half-asleep as Leah plucks the book out of her hands, turns the page and reads the next poem.

What seas what shores what grey rocks and what islands
What water lapping the bow
And scent of pine and the woodthrush singing through the fog
What images return
O my daughter
."

“I like that one,” Mary murmurs, and Leah smiles and continues reading.

*

When she looks back, she can’t even tell when it started, when Leah first looked at her with dark eyes and she shivered, the first time Leah brushed tanned fingers against hers and it meant something more.

She does remember the first time they held hands in public, the way Charlie’s eyes widened a bit when he’d seen and then he smiled suddenly and she'd released breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

*

O my daughter.

*

The sun comes out.

Leah shows up by eight, teeth flashing in her face, the perfect antidote to the moping Mary’s been feeling coming on.

“Hey Mr. Swann!” she says as she bounces up the steps and through the door. “Can I take Mary out to La Push?”

“Yeah, sure,” Charlie says, easy and smiling too like this is so normal, and maybe it should be. Leah catches Mary’s hand and they wave bye and head out, running and laughing and Mary feels so very young. They go to the cliffs. It’s almost summer, the sun just hot enough for the water to be cool and refreshing. Mary slices through the water, twisting and turning to evade Leah as they fight mock battles under the water and then come up to breathe and laugh.

She glows like ice beneath the water and Leah looks like fire in the sunlight and they are in perfect symmetry. It feels like dancing.

“Bet you can’t beat me to the top,” Leah says, and Mary scrambles for the rock, leaving the grey soaked with water behind her as she climbs. They roll onto the top almost simultaneously and collapse in the heat, arguing about who won.

It is something close to perfection.

*

I made this, I have forgotten
And remember.


*

“What is this? What are we?” Mary asks Leah, suddenly desperate to know. “What do I mean to you?” Leah is silent for a long moment, staring up at the sky.

“You’re Mary,” she says finally, and rolls over to face her. “You’re you. And I love it.”

Mary is not sure that’s an answer, but for now it’ll do. They have all the time in the world.

“I found a poem for you,” Leah says, almost cautiously. “I think you’ll like it. I’ll read it to you when we get home.”

“Thank you.” Mary says it softly, and Leah ducks her head, shy for a moment, and then looks up again, smiling.

“I did beat you to the top, though,” she says, and shrieks as Mary dives at her.

*

They walk home together in the dusk, holding hands, and on the side of the road by the forest Leah turns to her and says, “Do you think this is what love is like?”

"Yes."

Maybe later she will say I love you, but for now this is enough.

*

Don't
   you know it, don't you know

I love you, he said. He was
   shaking. He said,
I love you. There’s an art
   to everything.


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YEEK! MORE MARYVERSE. :)

I love the normality of her life and how she absolutely loves it. It's such a cool contrast to Bella (*gag*). And Charlie! Oh Charlie. <3

AND TS ELIOT. THAT MAKES ME ALL KINDS OF HAPPY.

Apotheosis is the exalting or raising of a human to the rank of a god

THIS. Because, yes. This is Twilight (obviously, in a negative way, because this is definitely not a good thing). :D

Great job, Betsy! <333333


:DDD

CHARLIE IS SEVENTEEN KINDS OF AWESOME. <333

T. S. Eliot is so fantastic!

It's what being a vampire more or less is, and a little bit what being a werewolf is, and this is the only way Mary knows to explain that she doesn't want this, she never wanted this.

Thank you, bb!

oh I love this. how leah is a little prickly (but her eyes softennnn), and they're both rebelling with short hair and things like that but they love their homes so much. Charlie is <33333 and POETRY oh lord I love these poems, you know I do. the ending, oh, wonderful.

MARY LIKES PEOPLE oh thank god, what a relief from Bella. and loves being normal :D and loves leah :D :D oh they are so sweet. I love these, so much. they are really sparse and pithy and beautiful.

leahhhh! she was loads of fun to write - I'm still not sure I got her down right, but she's right for this story, so. :P yes exactly! they have their rebellions but they know where home is. they have carved their places in the world and they will not abandon them. CHARLIEEE. I don't think I'll ever get over how much I LOVE him. his granddaughter the half-vampire is in some sort of unspecified relationship with a werewolf girl and he's totally fine with it. POETRY OMG. the temptation to include even more poems was really difficult to fight against, but it needed to be a story, not me reccing lots of poetry. (that'll come later! yay!) I was worried about the ending, but I wanted to end it with that stanza and aghskdgdj. *dies* I spent a long time staring at the screen trying to figure that last bit out.

I was worried I hadn't included the people she hangs out with in school enough, but they aren't really close. Mary doesn't let herself get really close to many people. but at the same time, she likes talking to people. and then there's the whole people instinctively sense that she's a predator, and she makes them a little bit uncomfortable. so she knows people, and likes them, and gets asked out a few times, but she's careful not to get too closely attached.

thank you lots! I'm glad you liked them - I really loved how Leah and Mary came together. now I won't be quite so heartbroken when Charlie dies. Mary will still have Leah, and they shall go werewolfing/vampiring off across the country! they'll visit Jacob and the Cullens and be like 'AHAHAHA WE'RE OFF TO RUSSIA NOW CYA'. Alice will show up sometimes and be like 'HI GUYS I SAW YOU COMING HERE' and they will go shopping together and then Alice will vampire back to wherever home is this time. um. *blinks*

DAMN YOU PLOTBUNNIES.

I think belonging and home are themes that aren't explored enough in Twilight. there's some examination of it with the whole "vampires can't stay in one place for long" thing, and Jacob's human/not human werewolf angst, but, not *enough* examination of that.

That's really sad, that she likes people but can't get too attached. She probably takes a lesson from friendly Alice that way, instead the rest of the bunch who are aloof.

HAHA YES PLOTBUNNIES. resistance is futile! :))

I LOVE IT OMG MORE MARY PLEASE. Things that were awesome: Mary and Charlie, Leah's grouchiness, handholding and swimming together, Leah and Mary hanging out, werewolves and vampires smelling weird! (Why do none of the Cullens understand about homeschooling?) And I thought the Leah/Mary dynamic was totally perfect too. :D :D

XDDDD THANK YOUUUUU. Mary actually considered homeschooling! but she wanted to be able to go to high school once. after this, she's just not going to stay anywhere for long, so. XD yayyyyy! I'm glad you liked it. :D <33333

I can understand that--high school is one of those things that people feel they should experience. Like prom.

This is fabulous! I stumbled onto your journal quite by accident and I was a little skeptical about this from the description - I was so wrong. This is amazing and the very best part is that things aren't neatly tied up and the happy ending is more of a life than an ending. I like that.

thank you muchly! haha, I agree, without knowing the other ones (and even a little with) the summary/explanation for this sounds absurd. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! and yes, I'm very much a 'life continues!' sort of writer. I don't like endings that wrap everything up - also, there's a possibility of more, with Leah and Mary werewolfing/vampiring across the world together. thanks again!

Yes! an update.

OMG I totally ship Mary/Leah. The are like perfect opposites attract.
Love the mention of "you smell" but I'll get used to it.

Charlie is MADE OF WIN!

Apotheosis is the exalting or raising of a human to the rank of a god, Mary tells Leah the third afternoon on the beach, and Leah shifts and nods.

Mary leaves things unspoken because she does not know how to say them, but Leah knows what she meant.


LOVES THIS.


hee. it did take me a while. *shifty*

thanks! yeah, I wanted to make it clear that this was an acclimatization rather than a violent falling in love like her mother's was.

I love Charlie! he was so underplayed in the books, but it's obvious that he's quiet, and thoughtful, and ridiculous easy going and AWESOME. because he is!

thanks again! I'm glad you liked it.

So. I have never commented about your Mary Blake verse. Which is a travesty, because I absolutely adore it and I actually think about it rather a lot (like, pretty much whenever I think about Twilight, my brain references this series). Anywho, I saw animus' Leah/Angela for the first time today and was of course once again thinking about Mary's excellent adventures, and I realized that I'd never commented, so I popped on over here to say hi, hon, I adore this stuff. Twilight-fixing ftw! It would take a long time to enumerate everything I love about Mary, because I really love it all. Charlie! Harvard! Leah! Walking! Living! It's really really fab, and it makes me want to write Twilight fic. You, in short, are awesome.

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