I'm actually doing pretty well, you guys. Thursday... okay, Thursday sucked, but I recovered really rapidly (in large part due to you guys and your awesomeness). I don't think I've ever sprung back quite so fast from my dad and his rants, which is a promising sign for my own mental health. And I've been doing better with the socializing thing! Two Saturdays ago we had a highschool homeschool party, last Saturday we went to Disney, and yesterday I went downtown for a few hours with a friend, and enjoyed it. And then I'm going to a Revelation study at my sister's church every Monday, mostly to have an excuse to scope out the people she's always hanging out with now, I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:00 to 3:20 (with two long breaks), choir on Tuesdays from 4-6, and park day all Friday afternoon. it's a very full schedule and kind of crazy and that's what taking so much adjusting to.

I'm happy. My psychology teacher is fantastic, my Biology teacher is hilarious (and swears a lot) and taught us about human reproduction by phrasing it as the Death Star v. Luke Skywalker battle (AND THE ONE SPERM MAKES IT THROUGH TO THE DEATH STAR), my English II teacher could not be more boring and uncaring but it's all about literary devices so. yeah. I'm having a good time with my friends. I'm doing okay at exercising and eating enough and drinking enough and helping out around the house. Things are actually going pretty well, which... kind of surprising, but very very nice.

I also happen to be really enjoying Stargate: SG-1, and Criminal Minds, and White Collar. Supernatural I need to catch up on. :P

Vid you should all watch! Wild Child by calapine . It's a halfamoon feminism vid, this beautiful celebration of women and how awesome they are. It's got Narnia and Star Wars and Doctor Who and BSG and SJA and Peter Pan and LotR and Star Trek and Harry Potter and PotC and LotS and The Matrix and all sorts of other stories as source material and it is beautiful.

THE MEME
1. Comment to this post with "I surrender!" and I'll assign you the basis of some TV show idea. (Science fiction show, medical drama, criminal procedure, etc...)
2. Create a cast of characters, including the actors who'd play them
3. Add in any actor photos, character bios and show synopsis that you want.
4. Post to your own journal.

THE PROMPT (from eudaimon) : A journey story across a post-apocalyptic landscape.

TYPE: Hour-long ensemble drama.

( Wastelands )

I was hoping to finish and post my answer to this completely awesome meme today, but you'll forgive me if I feel like curling up in a dark dark corner and never coming out instead, right?

just spent all fifteen minutes of the drive home from college with my dad telling me how worthless I am. yes, he actually used the word worthless at one point, among others like "drain of time" and "little emotional problems that you think are fun" and intimations that he would like to kick me out as soon as I turn eighteen this year. I've been spending the forty five minutes since pretending to be calm and collected because he was still home, but now that he's gone I feel kind of sick and mostly I'm just trying to keep from breaking down and having a pity fest. I really, really didn't need that. I've been spending the past two weeks suppressing a really ugly mood swing, and feeling really proud of myself because I was doing it, and well, and I was functioning and being friendly despite my fucked-up state, and now it feels like I failed somehow even though I didn't.

just. I have been working so hard, I really have. it's why I've been silent on the interwebs, because I've been working on adjusting to going back to classes and dealing with people and trying to help out around the house more, and all I get is this.

I dunno. clearly he hasn't wrecked all my progress, or I'd be crying in my room instead of typing this, but it's really discouraging and it hurts like hell.

My (inarticulate) response to the feminism!fail discussion running around recently.

( women are, in fact, awesome! )

this is once again making the rounds, so I gave in and requested drabbles from various people. which means!

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. (If you absolutely can't write, maybe find a creative alternative?)

Fandoms I'm accepting requests in: Merlin (though I am not up to date), Narnia, White Collar, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Harry Potter, anything else you can convince me to write. Crossovers and fusions and insanity totally encouraged. :D

9/10

Title: this temporary flesh and bone
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Characters/Pairings: Susan/Edmund
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death and incest.
Summary: The thing about the end of the world is that it gets increasingly difficult to find coffee.
Author's Note: (I have edited this three times. Stop it, LJ! ... FOUR TIMES.) For eudaimon, who LJ refuses to let me put up for some reason, and who won me in the help_haiti auction, and then was fabulous and requested something I thoroughly enjoyed writing. Thanks for donating! I hope you enjoy. Beta-ed by the fabulous lassiterfics.


( The thing about the end of the world is that it gets increasingly difficult to find coffee. )

Watched Criminal Minds 5x13, ( Risky Business )

I also watched most of Supernatural 5x11, "Sam, Interrupted." I dunno, it was okay. I wasn't in a very effective SPN-watching mood. I need to be feeling fine and happy, and I'm feeling more reclusive and worried. I think I'm going to have to rewatch it sometime - parts of it were hilarious, and parts of it were really, really interesting, and I want to watch them and be able to be interested and have thinky thoughts. Which I can't do right now.

And lastly! I used the last few remaining days of holiday (no homework until yesterday) to watch all eight episodes of White Collar, which has also been recommended to me. And it is indeed glorious, because Neal Caffrey is a shiney shiney thing of beauty, and the OT3 is quite an OT3 (El, I ADORE you!), and the latest episode was fantastic and the one before that was fabulous too (OUT OF A JUDGE'S WINDOW). so this goes on my list of shows to watch. (White Collar. Criminal Minds. Supernatural. huhhh. this is beginning to seem like A Type. and I don't even like most cop shows! apparently just very specific cop shows. I can't get enough interest in Numb3rs to watch it consistently, or, uh, any other cop show I've been told to watch except for The Unusuals.)

oh yeah! I watched two episodes of Bones at one point over the holiday. I... I don't know, you guys. I want to like it, I really do. And Temperance is really awesome some of the time, and Booth is awesome too (Boreanaz! that man can act), but something is missing, and I had lots and lots of problems with how unprofessional Temperance is, and how flip-floppy Booth's characterization was in the Pilot. I don't know. I have been told it just keeps getting better, but unfortunately we're now at a point where soon I won't have time to keep watching. So! if I'm to keep watching Bones, I'm going to need some really good Season 1 episodes to check out. Bones fans! what are the best/most necessary Season 1 episodes?

Hey! would anyone be interested in beta-ing a 1.5K Susan/Edmund zombie apocalypse fic? warnings for character death and incest, etc.

So it's the last day (hour) of the help_haiti auction! My thread is still here - the bidding's up to $25. There's also a masterlist of all fanfiction being offered here and the countdown to the end is here. (48 minutes!)

Run, people, run! If you haven't bid on anything or have been outbid, find something you like and bid on it! (there seem to be several small fandoms represented, so!) have fun!

This is especially important as Haiti just suffered a second earthquake. I'm not sure on how accurate reports are yet, but it appears to have been a 6.1 earthquake, which makes this doubly important.

There will also be a second auction later on in February, and there are still ongoing Lightning Rounds and a Request Post if you want to ask for something in particular that hasn't been offered, as well as masterlists for the Artistic and Miscellaneous Rounds.

ETA: Alice in Wonderland is being offered, as well as Anastasia, Anne of Green Gables (!!), A Song of Ice and Fire, Boondock Saints, and a fair amount of Chronicles of Narnia, as well. And that's just from a the first group of organized requests from the third post, so. Go wild!

ETA THE SECOND: in which help_haiti has a delicious account, though I don't know how up-to-date it is.

Watched ( Criminal Minds 5x12 )

agh agh agh. must stop procrastination. I've set myself a deadline of Monday to start whittling down on it, and I've been working on it a little bit over the holiday (not heading straight for the computer in the morning - cleaning up my room first, doing some other housework, getting food) and I mean, it's the holidays. procrastination then is understandable. but it does need to stop now. I need to get myself organized on Monday, I need to lay out a schedule, and while I can't stop the procrastination all in one fell swoop (that has NEVER worked), I can at least get myself started. and I need that.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be a nightmare. I've been almost completely isolated over the past three weeks (well, almost a month, actually), even partially from the internet (that's why I've been commenting at a pretty low rate and not posting almost at all) and it's been heaven. Jumping headlong back in (three classes and then choir) is going to feel a little like hell. Get through one week at a time. Reacclimate. I can totally do this. I am, however, totally looking forward to my classes. school & learning, OMG. yay!

I have no other way to contribute to the Haiti disaster relief, so I'm offering fic for the help_haiti auction. Here, starting bid $1.

Feeling slightly queasy about the idea of writing for money, even if it's a charitable donation, but I want to help somehow, so.

Apparently, when I have no school to do but yet need something to do - I do sort-of school anyways. In this case, research for a paper that might never get written, about the prevalence of children's stories in which at the end most/all of the protagonists either choose to leave or are forcibly kicked out of the fantasy land they have found. exhibit a, naturally, being Narnia. I even have a timeline now! For series, the date is the year of the first book's publishing.

1865 - Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. English, forcible eviction.
1900 - Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. American, chooses to return home.
1904 - Peter Pan (the play) by J. M. Barrie. English, chooses to return home. (The book adaptation was published 1911.)
1950 - Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis. English, forcible eviction.
1965 - The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper. English, forcible eviction.

Anyone know of other children's literature, at any point in time, in which the children find a different world and have to leave it at the end?

Casting your zombie apocalypse! This seemed like the perfect meme to start out the new year - one I've been meaning to do for a while that involves not only pretty people but also ZOMBIES. yaaay!

( Who would you cast in your zombie apocalypse? )

huhhh. that's weird.

let's see, summing up the year/decade. it was awesome? I met almost all of you guys this year? I dunno! I suck at summarizing.

ALTHOUGH. omg Criminal Minds you guys I am so happy I found this show! it is chock full of lovely comraderie and intelligence and smart smart people working to stop bad guys and fantastic portrayal of women and victims and the bad guys, who are not always bad guys so much as people-who-totally-cracked-and-really-need-help. have I mentioned how very, very hot I find competence? which everyone on this show has in spades? YEAH. and Reid is adorable and nerdy and fabulous, and Garcia is freaking hilarious and so awesome, and Prentiss omggg and Hotch! and Rossi! and Morgan! and JJ! ... yeah, I'm devolving into incoherence. it's just, I have not found a show I want to/have been rewatch(ing) this much since Avatar, and you guys know how well that show was characterized and how much sheer awesome there was in it.

if we're being serious, probably the most important thing that's happened in 2009 was meeting all of my new online friends, who have really helped me screw my head on at least straight enough that this year, I think I have a chance of working out some of my issues. I've managed to drum it into myself that I have the ability to remove myself from a situation that I know is going to go south, and that this isn't something I've made up (... still working on that one, actually, because every time I talk about it I feel guilty for dumping my crap on everyone else). And I've dealt as far as I can with the fact that my dad's not going to acknowledge his own problem and get it fixed, and I'm actually getting better at this whole regulating myself thing. not fabulous, but better. the icon on this post and my default one ("I am out of my goddamn fool mind and I am going to own this shit.") have basically been my mindsets this year. I'm kind of hoping to expand that this year to like, have a good time or something. :P

which leads to my one New Year's goal: learn to manage my time better. and yeah! that's about it for a new year.

still. I'm staying up till twelve, just so I can hi to the new year, and make it promise to be wonderful.

I'm going to use this post to post all of the 3-sentence fics I've done.

( uh. I didn't realize I'd written this much! )

you know, this was going to be a post about Criminal MInds, and how much awesome it contains (WHICH IS A LOT. A REALLY REALLY LOT.) but that'll have to come some other time.

BECAUSE HOLY FREAKING SHIT YOU GUYS THE MASTER IS AWESOME.

(that's not spoilers, technically. the previews said he was going to be resurrected.)

SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU SEEN THE END OF TIME. AWESOME. Davies, live up to this potential awesomeness before you leave! you have done well before, continue to do so! DON'T BE AN IDIOT AT THE END, OKAY? BE AWESOME.

(omg omg omg. I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEEEEK.)

+ Today I had Christmas! my sister is leaving tomorrow and won't be back again for a long time, so we figured we would have Christmas this Sunday, complete with the traditional breakfast (Christmas Morning Coffee Cake, bacon, eggs, oranges/orange juice) and a tree and everything, which turned out really nice. :) We didn't do a lot of presents, but the ones we did were really good - a sweater, a lap stand for the laptop, a water bottle, and my sister got matching rings for all four of us girls. And then later at my grandmother's I got cash and a really nice necklace, and when we stopped by Whole Foods Market on the way home I got myself two boxes of tea, both green. I'm drinking one of them right now, it's quite nice. So yay!

+ School's wrapped up, except for my final in A. P. Gov., which is nice. School doesn't start again for me until January 20th, though I do have to get my books before that.

+ I'm working on the apocabigbang and have quibbles about a few things. I want all of the Pevensies there, and I'm specifically going to be pretty vague about how they got there. And I really want to have Sam and Dean and Castiel, but part of me wants to use this as a midway point for the Dean and Cas we see in 'The End', because it would fit pretty well as a 'break them more!' thing. BUT. I really want Sam in on it. So maybe I'll hint that this happened in the alternate-timeline-that-Zachariah-created too? AGH. I don't know. (Pairings showing up so far in my vague outline. Sam/Lucy/Edmund, Dean/Castiel, Peter/Susan, past!Susan/Dean.)

+ just something I wanted to mention - one of my friends who has watched the old Trek series/movies recently watched XI and was like 'I loved it all except for Uhura - she wasn't RIGHT. she was too sharp!' and I just sat there and went 'wut?' she also objected to the Spock/Uhura relationship because it wasn't in the actual series. which. I dunno, it was just frustrating to me, because everyone (in RL that I've talked to) seems to be bringing Uhura down when she was ridiculously awesome and so on top of things. I loved her! why can't everyone else? :(

+ I've still been neglecting my f-list, which is sad. I'm going to get back on top of things this week, though. I have been reading everything on my f-list, just been really distracted and busy, even after NaNo ended (portfolio! tests! omg for a second there I panicked and was like 'I HAVEN'T TAKEN MY MATH FINAL' but no. no, that was last Thursday. whew!). this week is purely for relaxing and hanging out online with y'all and writing. it will be fabulous!

+ it is rec time! divided up!

( one show, two vids, three fics, lots of poetry. )

(so, I think I'm mostly back! Finals next week, some A.P. Gov left, nothing in Latin but my final exam, and I'm done! OMG YAY.)

okay, so. remember the three-sentence ficathon that everyone at your f-list has probably been talking about. yeah.

this is a story in which grim_lupine and I make our best efforts to expose the entire fiction world of characters to Edmund Pevensie, because everyone should Edmund. ("NEEDS MORE EDMUND." "What does?" "EVERYONE.")

( a fabulous saga )

Other things I've written this ficathon.

( :DDD this is fuuuun! )

Finally got up all the icons I did when my sister's laptop with it's Adobe PS was around. 49 + 2 banners (for an original fiction character and Susan Pevensie). Here at be_theicons .

Icons
-4 Avatar (Zutara, Sokka/Yue)
-9 Star Trek XI (Uhura, Uhura/Spock)
-6 Supernatural (4.22)
-4 Lord of the Rings (Eowyn)
-9 Miranda Otto
-8 Ben Barnes
-2 Zoe Saldana
-7 Katie McGrath
Banners
-1 original fiction (Anna Baines)
-1 Chronicles of Narnia (Susan Pevensie)
Preview: